you've a way with words, dear sir.
txtsfrmlstnght: (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled “5 second rule” and kept fucking me. i think im in love
only if its a bamboo hoop
txtsfrmlstnght: (714): i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it'd take forever
txtsfrmlstnght: (310): Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O’Donnell’s weight in ounces.
"You've GOT to be shrooming."
txtsfrmlstnght: (615): small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party (423): so no drinking for you? (615): don’t be silly
I’m done seeing my friends through the rearview, thinking we’re really closer...– (via newyorkish) (via hiphop-quotables) (via drizzzy) so effin true.
During the weekend, Melissa would constantly refer to downtown fullerton as DTF. Blame it on Superbad to taint my mind so much so that all I heard in my head when she’d say this was, “Pee in Vagee, Down To Fuck.”
I like going through my phone, or my facebook “friends” list, and deleting people I am not actually “friends” with, and/or have no intention of keeping in touch with. Why lie to yourself?
shes the ash ketchum of babies
txtsfrmlstnght: (919): You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I want to be french. and have an awesome bilingual french baby.
I feel like I have to be high so I dont get lost in Tim and Eric humor. But one thing is for sure… this little tidbit is awesome: Zach Galifianakis as The Snuggler. ……but those damn shorts! **fun fact: the taxidermy fox in this video is named “michael j” …..hah. get it?
I love giving people the knuckle-to-knuckle, pound it, greeting. I also love being fist on top when I say “Pimps up, hoes down.”
txtsfrmlstnght: (770): he said “you’re pretty” then i made out with him. thats all it took
jordaman: I was late to the whole texting world. I didn’t get it until last year, and as a texting rookie, I didn’t understand the whole concept of T9. I would sit there pushing in each letter, one at a time, since I didn’t have one of those fancy shmancy phones with a keyboard. Now that I have figured out the intricacies of T9, I am able to text a lot faster. One thing that bothers me is when...
I love my Goonies tee.
txtsfrmlstnght: (518): i googled “the goonies drinking game.” i may be alone, but i’m living the college dream. So this weekend, I went to some RANDOM ass party. It turns out it was also a COSTUME party, filled with white boys, and girls in trashy, slutty, costume versions of anything and everything. The highlight of my night was when one random guy said, “I like your Goonies...
txtsfrmlstnght: (305): I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.